Saturday, March 27, 2010

Are we there yet?

I found out Thursday evening that I would be able to get out of town for a few days. After the last few weeks that I have had, I couldn't have packed fast enough! With two kids in the car and a dog in the back, we said goodbye to the Burg and headed north to Maryland.

Just as we were crossing the state line, Carson (age 10) pipes up, "Mom, why did you have a baby when you were in high school?" OMGosh.... where do these random questions come from? I looked back to see Emma totally mesmerized by her DS and felt pretty confident I could handle his questions. I have always answered his questions honestly and appropriately for his age & thought I was ready for just about anything. The one question that got me...."What is his (birthfathers) name?" As we cruised up the highway, my heart pounded. Why was it so hard to answer such a simple question? I assume because that is a part of my past that I don't want to expose him to but one that I refuse to hide from him. After about 15 minutes of questions and talking, he dazed out the window and I said a quick prayer that he would process everything I said in a healthy way. After a few moments of silence and changing lanes on the highway, I said to him "Carson, you can always ask me or dad anything about K or that situation & we will always answer you honestly."

I often am asked how to talk to biological children about the child placed for adoption years prior. I wish I had the perfect answer so I would be prepared for the next round of questions from my kids.

The best advice I can offer is:
1) Be honest
2) Don't give too much info, just what is right for his/her age.
3) Let them know that they can always ask you anything...keep the lines of communication open
4) Pray about it so you are always prepared for those moments!

Has this happened to you? Any advice that you want to share?
Have a great weekend!

~Janelle

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