Thursday, March 11, 2010
A Full Surrender...
Surrender is such an unpopular word. By using that word, people often think of losing or giving up. As young adults, we are pushed to never give up so to surrender is something almost unnatural—or feels like the wrong choice.
At some points in our lives, we will surrender to something or someone… or for birth mother’s we surrender our parental rights to becoming Mom. I am currently reading through The Purpose Driven Life. In today’s chapter Rick Warren shared that the heart of worship is to surrender to God. He wants us to “give ourselves to Him, not out of fear or duty but in love.” Immediately I was reminded of the day almost 17 years ago that I was on my bed and surrendered to God whatever plans He had for me and the little life inside of me. I was weak, completely drained and ready to hand the control to someone much greater than myself. By surrendering, I knew that I needed to make an adoption plan.
The choice wasn’t because I was scared of being a mom or feeling that other people thought adoption would be best… it was that I loved her so much. I knew surrendering my decision to God was the best option--- the only real option. I prayed that whatever He wanted for the baby (parenting or adoption), He had to the bust open doors or to slam them shut. Instead of trying harder to make a plan happen, I trusted harder.
When I came to grips with the full surrender, I was given a peace-- a peace that passeth all understanding. (Phil 4:7) I was given grace and mercy like I hadn’t ever known before. The pain was still there. The hurt was still real. But I had confidence that if I gave this decision to God, He would use it for His glory. Surrendering is not for cowards and isn’t always a negative word... in fact, surrendering often makes you stronger in the end.