Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Honoring the Birth Father

On my drive home from a long weekend in South Carolina, I started thinking about Father’s Day and the men that have played significant parts in my life. At some point in the midst of the Charlotte traffic, I let my mind ponder if “T” (K's birth father) thinks about “K” on Father's Day. It saddened me to think that Birth Mother’s Day is the Sunday before Mother’s Day but I have not heard anything about Birth Father’s Day. In my boredom, I flipped open my high-tech phone and entered “Birth Father’s Day” in Google. Nothing.

Hmmm… so why is it that we can honor birth mom’s and not have a day reserved to honor birth fathers? As a birth mom, it is easy to jump up on my pedestal and shout, "but I did all the work. I carried her for 9 months! I suffered through natural child birth". But then I slip back on my caseworker hat, get over my emotional rant and see it from K's perspective....T is her birth father and because of that one fact, he deserves to be honored just as I do. Whether she ever has a relationship with him or not, he is and will always be a part of her--and that has nothing to do with me.

I don’t know if T will ever read this but if he does, I would like to say thank you for allowing the adoption to happen. Thank you for not stopping her from growing up in an amazing home with an older sister to guide her and a younger brother to pester her. Thank you for the phone calls and random letters during my pregnancy. I know that allowing the adoption to proceed was the best way that you could have supported me and the best gift you could have given her at that stage of our lives.

Readers, you won't read much on my blog about T.. in fact, I feel as if I have already said too much.
To all the Birth Father’s out there… even T… I hope you were honored in a special way on Father’s Day.

~Janelle

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