Friday, June 4, 2010
My #1 Fan
One day during my pregnancy, I mentioned to him, "I want to start over with my life". Being my biggest fan, my dad made the decision to start looking for a new job and relocate. He gave me my new start. When I left the Godparent Home, I entered a new town, a new church... a new life. It allowed time for me to grieve while no one was watching. It gave me time to bond with my parents again. It gave me time to adjust to life without baby--or to create my new normal.
I thought he would be the perfect person to answer a few questions for the men out there!
1. What advice do you have for dad’s that are watching a daughter deal with a teenage pregnancy?
Dad: "I have always said that it is the opportunity for him to be what he was ordained to be, a father. It is his responsibility to support the pregnancy of his daughter, provide safety, and set the tone for the direction for the rest of the family."
2. Was it hard not to tell your daughter what she should/shouldn’t do… how she should/shouldn’t handle the situation?
Dad: "No because you "had a plan" for the pregnancy."
My Thoughts: One of the best decisions my parents ever made was to respect my planning and provide me the tools to follow it through. My first plan was to have the child. My second was to go the Liberty Godparent Home for the duration of my pregnancy. My third was to place the baby for adoption. Never did I hear how they felt but rather they were realistic on how my decisions would affect our family unit.
3. What regrets do you have about actions, advice or any part of the situation?
Dad: "None. What you don't know is, that when I walked out of the bedroom for that few minutes, I turned the whole situation over to God."
My thoughts: The night I told my parents about the pregnancy... it was a bad night in our house! Never did I know (until now) that my father was in the other room giving the situation to His Heavenly Father-- I thought he was controlling his own frustrations, anger, etc. So, from the night that my father learned of the pregnancy, he turned it over to Someone much bigger than himself!
4. How did you deal with the female emotions and drama that you had to deal with on a day to day basis?
Dad: "I don’t remember any real problems"
My thoughts: I do! I do! I do! Wow, with three ladies and my poor dad, we were always crying, always wanting to talk. etc. Apparently, he just rolled with it and took the good with the bad!
5. Who was your biggest support? Or did you not have someone to talk to?
Dad: "Ray Bucklew"
My Thoughts: This is a very cool & special answer for me to hear. Ray Bucklew was a houseparent at the Home... one of the few males that worked at the facility. Whenever my parents would pick me up or drop me off from a visit, I would notice my dad sitting with Ray in a corner somewhere talking.
6. If you could turn back time, knowing what you know now, would you change anything?
Dad: "No. It does no good to view events with hindsight."
I love this last answer. What does it benefit to look to the past and say "but if I would have.."? Of course we can look back and learn from our decisions... but don't get stuck there. Keep moving forward and keep investing in those around you that you love!
Have a wonderful weekend!