Thursday, July 22, 2010

Love Without Measure... Gretchen's Journey Continues

The Journey Continues....If you haven't been to the blog in a few days, please start at the beginning of this powerful story and read Part 1, 2 and 3.

Now, a year later, I can say that time has eased some of the pain. But the most significant thing that has comforted me has been the love without measure that God has poured out to me over the last year. There were many dark times, and many more questions, but around each corner that I turned; I found grace and love packaged in special ways to help ease my pain.

There were many days that I tried to “be strong” and “brave”, but I found that did not work any better following Derek’s death than it did when he was born. This journey was one I entered alone, and although many kind people have traveled with me on my adoption journey, much of this travel had to be done alone, in my heart. As I have let myself feel the pain, and experience the grief, I have been blessed with love, without measure, poured on me from God alone.

Through this year I have found a special healing balm in the words of Psalm 121:

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The LORD will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

This summer, as I sit in my living room, I remember the feelings I once had at the beginning of this journey, and am thankful that today I am surrounded by hope, love and grace:

• Hope that one day I will meet my Savior face-to-face, and will experience “reunion day” with Derek, as we worship the Lord together with many other loved ones.

• God’s love that is poured on me no matter what mistakes I’ve made, or how much I’ve disappointed Him….His love is more abundant than my sin.

• Grace that is given freely… grace to cover my wrong, and grace to carry me through the journey of life.

• Hope, that through sharing this journey with you, someone else will find encouragement for their journey.

Gretchen and her family reside in Kansas where she is the Administrator for a Parkside Homes, a retirement health care facility. She and her husband, Doug, are busy with their two children, Leighton (12) and Lanna (11). The kids are active in community theater, band, and church activities. Gretchen worked as an adoption caseworker for Family Life Services from 1998-2001. Her love for the people and ministry of FLS has continued in spite of the miles between.

Feel free to leave any comments for Gretchen as I know she would love to hear from you!


  1. Anonymous7/26/2010

    Dear Gretchen,

    I am an adoptive mom. I read your story day by day and found myself almost crying outloud "no" as I read of the loss of your birthson. My heart goes out to and your family with your loss. I'm thankful that you had the blessing of knowing about his salvation and that you too are saved. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope that it touches many lives and that God's blessings will be shown and that you will have continued healing and peace in your own life. Your story is such a good reminder of how much we are alike whether a birthmom or an adoptive mom. Though the paths may be different the heart loves so much.

  2. Virginia3/08/2011

    Dear Gretchen,
    I was adopted from the Liberty Godparent Home in 1992, my birthday is Nov. 6. For years I have wondered about my birthmom, and would love to meet her. Your story blessed me so much! I am very sorry about your loss. The fact you have found your strength in the Lord is wonderful! God bless you and your family!

  3. Gretchen3/09/2011

    Dear Virginia,

    Thank you! I wonder if I knew your birthmom, I was there in November of 1992.

    The beauty of ALL of our stories, is that God alone is sovereign to work His way in our lives, and create a beautiful tapestry in our life no matter what challenges we face.

    This month Derek would have turned 18. I longed for the day, I could have met him....but, Praise the Lord, I will meet him in heaven one day! Makes heaven that much better :)

  4. Hey Virginia, If you are interested in gaining more information on your birth family, please feel free to contact Family Life Services. You can also find them on Facebook at

    It would be neat if Gretchen knew her!


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