Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The moment your world stops...

 Anyone impacted by an unplanned pregnancy has a unique story... no two are ever the same.  Take a moment to learn from my daughter, Katherine, and what her journey has been over the last year.

I found out I was pregnant January 21st, 2014. I was nineteen at the time. Just days before, on January 10th, my child's father made the decision to move out of state to pursue other “adventures.” Prior to that point, him and I had been inseparable for well over a year. During that whole year I had only spent one week without him. When he left it was by far one of the hardest things I had ever had to deal with. I was living and working in Atlanta, Georgia at the time, I had few friends, and I rarely went out exploring the big city. After he left, most nights I spent curled up in bed just waiting to get the next day done with. One of my coworkers noticed my obviously saddened, and rather depressed, demeanor and would regularly invite me to hang out with her. Over the next few weeks our friendship grew to a point where I confided in her that I thought I may be pregnant. So one night she kidnapped me, forced me to go to Walmart, bought me a pregnancy test, and I ended up finding out the truth right there in her apartment. I was pregnant.
The moment you find out you're pregnant is the moment your world stops. I wasn't happy and I wasn't sad. I just was. I was present in the moment yet detached and unemotional. I called my parents at 11:30 at night, calm and collected, and informed them that they were going to be grandparents. My fathers reply was “couldn't you have waited until the morning to tell me, I was asleep.” Next I called my sister. Being the nurturing and caring older sister she is, she got emotional and kept asking me if I was alright. Still I lacked any real emotion. The last person I told was Xavier, my childs father. Being the realistic one he told me that we needed to come up with a plan but also that we would be the best parents and provide the best we could for our little one. And thats when the weight of the world, and my decisions, hit me.
The next day I called and made a doctors appointment at the local hospital. I wasn't exactly sure how far along I was and I didn't want to waste any more time. During my appointment they informed me that I was 12 weeks along and that I had come at the perfect time.  I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time and had my very first ultrasound. They told me my child was doing wonderful even though I only weighed 100 pounds, mainly due to stress. From that day on I knew that the little person growing inside of me was, and will forever be, my main priority and responsibility. I accepted the fact that I would no longer able to do things I used too and I was determined to be the best mom I could be, no matter the cost.
All I wanted was to have my new family together. I waited and waited for my childs father to realize that he needed to be with me, to experience the joys, the doctors visits, the weight gain, and the emotions. The last thing I expected was to go on this journey feeling alone, being far away from home, and without someone to lean on and be supported by. From that night in my friends apartment until now I have been forced to be strong for myself and my child, experiencing most everything alone and dealing with the hardships of pregnancy, relationships and life. Yet one things for certain, with difficulties comes unexpected rewards and blessing like none I’ve ever experienced. And those blessing make the journey bearable and keep me going.

For those Experiencing an Unplanned Pregnancy:
1.     Tell someone. This can be the hardest part. But its the most important. Hiding a pregnancy can risk directly affecting your child's future.  If you don't feel comfortable telling your parents, try contacting a counselor or a medical facility.
2.     Realize that you now come second.  Your child and your childs well-being trumps every fear,, worry and future decisions and action that you make.
3.     Proper medical care is essential to maintaining a healthy you and healthy baby. Take your prenatals, eat healthy, and drink plenty of water.
4.     Dont freak out. Get educated about pregnancy and learn about the do’s and don'ts.  Stressing and constantly worrying only negatively affects your health and your babies health.

5.     Dont let your expectations affect your reality. Roll with the punches, be strong and try to keep a level head. Things really do work out one way or another.